Recent works

Here are some recent works of mine:

Coachella of Interest. . .

Being afraid of big crowds and the Sun, I think that Coachella in Indio, California would be a nervous breakdown waiting to happen for myself.

Actually, I don’t mind the heat. I just think the idea of coughing up $260+ dollars to see three you actually like out of 100 would be a bit of a loss.

I suppose one could argue, “But bro-dude, it’s about the experience. Besides, T-Shirts are optional and I get to show off my sweet new tat bro, It’s like totally a quote from Catcher in the Rye, hey could I bum a cig?”

The line-up of bands, about five of which I actually would see, and not from a mile away on a Jumbo-tron, facing almost certain heat stroke, but in a nice dark venue, complete with A/C and bar, is impressive. I’m not going to deny it. But the real treat is the people.

One question: How could you not want this dude grinding up against you in the 103 Degree heat? You know he’s got his AXE on!

“These costume were only $60 at Fredrick’s and are gonna look soooo awesome on our Facebook! Freeze bad guys! Is Sisqo playing today?! Thong th-th-th Thong! lolz”

Chaka Brah! I am da whiz wit da friz. Guess what’s under my loincloth ladies?!

This guy:

Peace and love brothers and sisters

(Photos from LA Times)

Historical Figure of Interest. . . Black Bart

No not this Black Bart:

This Black Bart:

You should read up on him. Dude’s interesting, even if this picture makes him look like Liberace of the Caribbean.

Advert of Interest . . .

Whilst reading my Gentlemen’s Quarterly I stumbled upon 3 full pages of advertising gold by our friends at Diesel. The message is “Be Stupid.” I’m thinking it must be a tribute to the recent success of Jersey Shores who’s motto, is a slight variation: “Be Tan. . . Then Be Stupid.” I was amused, with the notion of what must have created the advert below:

I imagine the scene to be much like this:

Ad Exec: (lifts head up from mound of cocaine on desk) “I got it! What if we flipped the whole knowledge is power trip on it’s head?! Why be smart, when you can be stupid?”

Diesel Exec: “Great idea, can I have some coke?”

Hunter of Interest. . .

Meeting some friends at a BBQ out of town gave me a chance witness there dog, a true hunter. The quarry you ask? A tennis ball of course. Judging by the intense pose you would think some helpless squirrel were about to get pounced. Alas, the only recipient of the pounce was a fuzzy green ball.

Project of Interest…

I haven’t posted in a while, since as of recently, I have been launching my new line. This little baby is called OBEAR. I created it to get people active in supporting wildlife conservation without having to live up in trees or chase dog catchers with cattle prods.

I combined a couple of my favorite things, the first being wildlife conservation, cause honestly, who doesn’t love a good episode of Planet Earth and second Urban Fashion, cause honestly, who doesn’t like rocking fresh gear.

Jay-Z would agree. . . trust me.

The truth is that the world probably needs another T-Shirt company as much as it needs another Wal-Mart, but I felt that providing people with quality designs printed on American Made, Organic Tees would be a good way to help raise funds for such awesome groups as the Wildlife Conservation Society who are out there saving the Grizzlies and Tigers of the world every day.

I felt it was best to show people that their money was going to a specific group with specific projects, not just some obscure “Wildlife Relief” fund.

So, if you think that my little project deserves your support then please check it out at OBEAR.NET . Feel free to pass it on to your friends they’ll think you’re awesome for it. . . trust me.

Coffee of Interest…

Welcome to Coffee Chemistry 101:

Initially one would assume, as I did myself, that they had found themselves in a Crack Lab.  Since walking into a local coffee shop you don’t expect to find a misplaced chem set on the counter. I found myself intrigued and nervous, as bright lights make me nervous. So, I coughed up the $9 it cost to partake in such a coffee experience. The coffee was good, but honestly it was more about watching someone scientifically create a cup of coffee. Think “Weird Science” with less dweebs and half naked magic ladies. Bill Paxton may have been around but I would never recognize him without a buzzcut.

-N

Post Card of Interest

Whilst enjoying a coffee beverage on the west side, I notice a post card on the countertop:

This image of manliness, strength and a strategically placed speedo is for tha ladies, and some men!

At first I thought “Oh, great Iggy Pop must be coming to town for a show.” But upon further inspection I saw that it was a promotional card for Yoga Instruction. I guess I understand a picture displaying your talent for depicting the human pretzel but why nudish? It honestly looks like this stringy individual is one pose away from Crouching tiger, Hanging Beanbag.

-N

DVDs of Interest

While perusing the aisles of my local home and appliance store I came across a veritable gold mind of DVD masterworks.

I was simply insulted that these works of genius were carelessly tossed, like some refuse in the bargain bin. I am determined to pay proper tribute, and demand that these gems be placed not just on a shelf with the regularly priced/ over rated videos(I mean seriously, The Godfather?! HA!)  but in their very own golden-framed display case.  Those who come across them will burn with delight and wonder, for they will have discovered true treasures.

A few diamonds in the rough, which I thought deserved note:

"Nobody f*cks with the staffers!" - Glenn Beanpress TIMES

Mr. Beanpress put it best. This is a tale of victory and courage, honor and. . . adultery?

This docu-drama-action-porno has it all. Take a ride to 2004 and witness first hand, the trials and tribulations of a Presidential Campaign. Witness John Kerry along with running mate/America’s most beloved baby daddy John Edwards, as they cross the country, full steam ahead towards their inevitable and triumphant victory!

Take that Al Gore you dirty hippie!

"I'm tried of these f*cking-mutha trains on these f*ckin-mutha SNAKES!- Manuel Jackson

I just love that line! Manuel Jackson (Samuel Jackson’s dyslexic step-cousin) provides a fierce intensity, rarely scene since Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver. Unlike the obvious copy-cat “Snakes on a Plane” HA!, “Snakes on a Train” takes place on a train!  Sounds to me like Average-Business-Commuter Joe is going to get  a big surprise when he reaches in to is briefcase and a snake bites off his face!

Disclaimer:

Do not, I repeat, do NOT watch this film alone or after a big meal. The fear of snakes lurking in your toilet will keep you from using the restroom indefinitely. In fact, I’m still constipated.

"You will barf in your mouth LOLing!" - Tony FhitSuck Entertainment Weekly

Have you ever laughed so hard someone had to kick your balls to make you stop? Well you will when you see this hard to find and absolutely hilarious compilation of Larry the Cable Guy’s earliest, work before he changed his name and hairstyle. Prepare to have your funny bone tickled, broken and then shoved up your ass! AWESOME!

-N

Sign of Interest

I came across this in a public restroom at PCC. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen something so ingenious. I mean, I’ve spent all these years filling my coffee mug with urinal water, then come to find out you’re not suppose too. I just hope they don’t start hanging these above gas pumps, otherwise I’m gonna be one thirsty guy!